Why I walked away
by Anberu Shiruru
Summary: Why damon walked away at the end of the fourth book. damon/stefan incest slight angst. Rated M for later chapters that I will add if you want me too
1. Damon

**Okay I just wanted some kind of angst. I was feeling like writing it, so here it is. Not my best, but I like it. This is my first for vampire diaries so please be nice in reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the vampire diaries books.**

**Warnings: slight angst but thats about it.**

I couldn't stand it, watching him with Elena. Watching him be happy with that girl, smiling with her, laughing with her. It was just to much. Everything was ruined.

I was going to be the one to help him get over her. I was going to comfort him, help him, love him, and then hopefully ravish every part of him. But then she came back. When I saw her laying on the ground and saw the hope in his eyes, I felt my heart break in my chest.

It was horrible watching him kiss her, like he could never get enough, which he probably couldn't. I just watched with a stoic face as they broke apart for air and smiled at each other. I wanted be the one he was smiling at. I wanted to be the one he was kissing, but that would never happen.

Everyone thought I hated him, thought I wanted Katherine, and then thought I wanted Elena. But none of that was true. I loved him and I wanted both of the girls out of the picture. I tried to get Elena because she was with him, the same reason I tried to get Katherine. I wasn't going to go as far as kill either of them, I just knew I had to do something to get him.

But all hope was lost when she came back. So I just acted like I didn't care. I never took their hands because I knew I couldn't stand the fact that I had lost him. I really didn't want to acknowledge the fact, that I Damon loved my brother Stefan, and I could never have him. And thats why I walked away.

**Okay I know this was short but I can continue this if you want me to and the chapters will be longer. It will just be like seven or eight chapters, but if you want me to continue this just review and tell me. Thank you!**


	2. Stefan

**Okay so I figured I would do Stefan's thoughts on him watching Damon walk away.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire dairies series**

I watched him walk away and couldn't help but feel a certain sadness in my heart. I mean I know we weren't close like brothers were supposed to be, but I thought over the past weeks we had become closer.

I couldn't understand why, but instead of me wanting to stay with the girl I dreamed of, I wanted to run after Damon. Maybe it was because he helped me when Elena left. Maybe because we had been together for the past weeks. Or maybe I just really didn't want him to leave.

I didn't really have time to think about though because Elena grabbed my hands and made me dance with her. Even as I was holding her in my arms I couldn't stop looking at the spot where he just left.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. His bid bad exterior and caring, loving heart. His deep, soulful eyes. His sexy smirk. _Wait sexy? What am I thinking, he's my brother for pete's sake._

But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring my mind away from Damon enough to even think about the girl right here in front of me. And as we walked home, I kept to the woods to look for him. And even as I had my head buried in her shoulder, as we laid down, I could only think about the smell that clung to the leather jacket she was wearing. And now I can think about is, why did he walk away?


	3. pain and love

Damon was running through the forest, trying not to turn around and go see the very person he was trying to avoid. He planned on getting something to eat, finding somewhere to sit and sleep, and then letting his body give in to the heartache that he was just barely keeping in check.

He didn't even care that he had no human to drink for a meal, he have to settle for the woodland creatures, and for some reason, that he didn't know, he really didn't care that animals was all he was going to eat. _No thats a lie, _he knew exactly why he didn't care that he wasn't drinking human blood right now, it was because _he _didn't like it, because he hated it when Damon took advantage of the stupid humans. So he ran through the forest and found a couple bunnies, raccoons, and foxes, they would do for now. He ate them quick and then ran through the forest to find a clearing were he could sit and mope.

He found a small little space, not much, but it would do for now. He sat down and slumped against a tree, thinking about his beautiful little brother. He thought about what had happened the last couple hours and how scared he had been when he had seen Stefan laying there on the ground. He had ran to him and thought a little irrationally.

_God how could I have been so stupid to have let my control slip like that. _He had actually called him Stefan and not little brother. He had been so close to breaking down into tears. He knew he could never have Stefan, but that didn't mean he didn't want him alive and healthy. Along as he was alive, Damon could at least go on, knowing that at least his brother was still there on the earth.

And when Stefan told him to leave him, it about killed him, but it was what he wanted so he was going to do it. Then that asshole Klaus showed up again and Damon, being his stupid self had tried to go after him again, but that didn't work out to well. He was almost glad that he was struck by lightning, at least he wouldn't of had to go on knowing that he would never have Stefan. He would gladly welcome death if it meant to be taken away from all this pain. But he highly doubted that death was all that it was hyped up to be, seeing as how the whole Klaus and Elena thing worked out.

He didn't even know why he loved Stefan, but he knew exactly when it happened, when he came to love that beautiful boy. It was one day, after Katherine had died and Damon was watching him, watching to see when he could kill Stefan. He had hated Stefan after Katherine. He knew she had loved him more, she had given him her ring after all, but Damon didn't want to believe that, so he went off trying to kill him. That day changed everything though.

_Damon was sitting on a tree branch, watching his little brother walking through this kid infested park. He had been trying to get Stefan and kill him for some time now, but things just kept getting in his way. Today, though, today seemed different. Today would be the day that he ended his brothers pitiful life._

_Stefan had been walking through the park all day and Damon was getting impatient. He started to follow Stefan to see what was so interesting that his brother just had to stop his walk. He want to the tree behind Stefan and looked out. The sight was not what he was expecting. There Stefan was, walking along happily, and then this little girl ran up to him crying her eyes out. She looked to be three years old and seemed lost._

_Stefan squatted down so he could look the girl in the face. He opened his arms to her and she threw herself in his arms, crying into his shirt._

_"Shh, sweetie, whats wrong?" He asked when he figured out she wasn't going to tell him_

_"I'm lost mister, I can't find my mommy and I, I, I," She couldn't get anymore out, she was crying to much. Damon watched as his little brother picked the girl up and started to rock her gently, trying to sooth her._

_"Come on, I'll help you find your mommy," He whispered gently and started to walk away with the girl still in his arms. Damon followed silently, trying to figure out what Stefan was doing. He watched as Stefan walked around the whole park until he found her mother, who looked just as frantic and scared as the daughter. He handed the girl to the woman and smiled that sweet smile of his. She thanked him thoroughly, asking what she could do to repay him and he answered by just saying that it was nothing, he was just happy that he could find her._

_And that was when Damon knew he loved Stefan. He wanted to be in his arms like that little girl. He wanted Stefan to comfort him like that. He wanted to be the one that got that look that Stefan was giving that little girl. He wanted to be Stefan's, for forever and a day._

Yes, Damon knew exactly what he wanted, but Damon has come to learn that what he wants, he never seems to get.


	4. Were you crying?

Damon must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes again it was light outside and... _Stefan_ was standing in front of him. _Oh God,_ Damon thought as he stood up to face his brother.

"What do you want, little brother?" Damon sneered.

"Were you...crying last night?" Stefan asked.

"W..What?" Damon stammered.

"Did you cry last night when I almost died?" Stefan repeated. He just had to figure out if Damon cared about him or not, cause last night he thought he saw the caring side of Damon that he knew his brother possessed.

"No, why would you think that?" Damon asked coldly, regaining his cool composure.

"Because," Stefan answered disheartened. He had thought that maybe Damon might have cared if he died or not, but apparently he was wrong. All he knew was that for some reason he could only think of Damon all night and day. Even when he was taking blood from Elena this morning his brother kept going through his mind..

"What's wrong?" Damon sighed.

"Nothing," Stefan turned around so Damon couldn't see the tears that were streaking down his face, but to no avail as Damon came over and looked him in the face. Although Stefan couldn't meet his eyes. He didn't know why he was so upset, or why his heart sped up when Damon gave that little smirk of his, or why he blushed every time Damon looked at him. He knew what these symptoms were, he got all of them with Katherine and then Elena, but could it be possible that he was getting feelings for his brother. One look into Damon's eyes told him the answer to that question. _Good god I love my brother._

"Yes," Damon stated nervously. Stefan would have gotten whiplash, were he not a vampire, his head turned to look at Damon so fast.

"What?" What was Damon talking about?

"Yes I just about cried last night," Damon said, again very nervously. He didn't know what Stefan was going to do with this little piece of information, but when he saw him crying he couldn't lie to him.

"Really?" Stefan asked, just a bit too hopeful that Damon was crying. If he was crying then maybe Damon did have feelings for him.

"Yeah, I didn't want you to die," Damon said gently while stroking Stefan's hair.

Stefan leaned into the touch and asked, "Then why did you walk away?"

"I can't tell you that baby brother," Damon said as he pulled his little brother into his arms.

"Why?" Stefan whined. He looked up into Damon's eyes trying to figure out what it was from his eyes. Even though, he couldn't help but think about how good it felt to be in his arms.

"Cause you won't want to even see me if I tell you," Damon stated looking at a spot over Stefan's head.

"You don't know that," Stefan whispered. He couldn't help but get just a little over excited at what Damon was scared to tell him.

Damon didn't know what to do. He could risk it and see if it brings him happiness, or he could not tell him so he wouldn't have to face the rejection he knew Stefan would give him. He looked down into Stefan's hopeful eyes and made his decision.

"I am in love with you," And with that Damon captured Stefan's lips in a soft kiss. To his surprise Stefan didn't push him away, he actually kissed him back. Stefan ran his tongue over Damon's bottom lip and Damon gasped, giving Stefan free entry. Stefan's tongue mapped out every dip, crevice, and tooth that was in his brother's mouth, while Damon just sat back and let Stefan take control. Before it got to heated, Stefan pulled back and smiled at Damon.

"I love you too," Stefan breathed.

"What about-"

"I'll take care of her."

"Are you-"

"Positively."

"Is this-"

"Damon, shut up. Don't worry about Elena, I am totally sure, and yes this is what I want," Stefan said exasperated.

"I was so scared you would push me away," Damon said.

"Well I was scared of the same thing."

"Then why did you look so happy last night?"

"I don't know, I just, when I saw you today, saw how beautiful you were, I just couldn't think of anyone other than you," Stefan blushed.

"Good," And Damon leaned down to give him one of many more kisses they were sure to have.

**Yay!! I have finished my first chapter story!! i'm so happy!! hope you guys liked it!! REVIEW!! if you want me to write a lemon to this I will, just tell me.**


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